Okay, we’ve covered a lot of weird stuff here at Digital Trends. Poop-burning toilets. Smart aquariums. Nude selfie mirrors. Talking teddy bears.
- 1. A toilet, because of course you need someone to talk to in the bathroom
- 2. Who needs to sing in the shower when you have Alexa?
- 3. An Alexa-enabled bike. Why not?
- 4. Comfy? Too bad. Alexa says it’s time to get up!
- 5. Alexa, why are you on my face?
- 6. Alexa, how do I get to the Harley Davidson store?
- 7. Alexa, umm…do that thing you do
Nevertheless, there’s a lot of crazy stuff being marketed at CES As always, the big show is the place to show off new and innovative technology that may or may not affect your life in the coming years. Guess who’s on board a great deal of this stuff? That’s right, it’s Amazon’s Alexa, getting her freaky groove on.
Let’s take a look at some of the wackiest things that work with Amazon’s Alexa that have emerged at CES 2019 this week.
1. A toilet, because of course you need someone to talk to in the bathroom
For better or worse, we spend way less time thinking about what features we need in a toilet than we do about video games or politics or dying or whatever, but it seems that CES has brought us a proverbial flush of smart toilets this year.
The most extravagant one we’ve come across so far — and the year is still young, mind you — is the Kohler Numi 2.0 Intelligent Toilet. We like water efficiency, and smart lighting on the toilet is great, but talking to the toilet is going to take some getting used to. This Alexa-connected toilet is ready to answer any question you have, whether your mind is idling during number one or super-focused on the number two.
2. Who needs to sing in the shower when you have Alexa?
After using the toilet, why not a smart shower you can talk to? The U by Moen is now integrated as a smart home skill for Alexa with commands like, “Alexa, turn on my shower to 103 degrees to get the shower running.” User can make this device part of smart home groups, as in “Alexa, start my morning routine.
3. An Alexa-enabled bike. Why not?
Skynet is just around the corner. Whether it’s Siri, Google Assistant or Amazon’s Alexa, someone is going to take over and we’re going total robo-apocalypse. Take the bicycle. Bicycles were introduced in the late 19th century in Europe. My, how far they’ve come.
This year, we were introduced to the Cybic Legend, which reportedly uses Alexa to provide riders with greater safety and convenience. The bike can track a bunch of fitness metrics, including speed, distance traveled, and time on the road.
4. Comfy? Too bad. Alexa says it’s time to get up!
Does everything really need to be smart? Apparently so. Now the Reverie smart bed can use Amazon Alexa to help you get your lazy behind up to start the day.
5. Alexa, why are you on my face?
Of course, someone figured out how to put Alexa into a pair of glasses. These Vuzix Blade glasses are basically AR (augmented reality) enabled glasses that can read text messages and display information based on Alexa inquiries. No, you look totally cool, dude. It’s not creepy at all.
6. Alexa, how do I get to the Harley Davidson store?
Yep, it’s an Alexa-enabled motorcycle helmet. Because racing between moving cars wasn’t unsafe enough (Hello, California). My really favorite part of this ad is “Enhance your ride with pure distraction-free technology.”
7. Alexa, umm…do that thing you do
If you haven’t followed technology closely for the last 50 years, you might not realize a common application that arises whenever breakthroughs happen: sex. From the advent of film to videotape to DVDs to interactive…interaction, human beings are a great market for stuff that gets them off. It’s no different with CES 2019, where we saw OhMiBod introduce an Alexa-powered vibrator that buzzes in time with your heartbeat, or by command via an app. Warning: The promotional video borders on the explicit and is not safe for work (and not for the faint of heart).
As the late great Stan Lee would have said, ‘nuff said.
